


Damaged Soul

by ShadowMystic



Series: Shadowhunters AU Mondays [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU Mondays, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Depression, F/M, M/M, One Shot, Self-Destruction, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 10:04:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10784640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowMystic/pseuds/ShadowMystic
Summary: PLEASE READ THE TAGS~Let me know if I've missed any important ones outThis is my contribution to AU Mondays~ Soulmates





	Damaged Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Again~Read the tags, this does contain triggers  
> 

Magnus was never a man with patience. He was never one to make too much of an effort as far as relationships were concerned. He had strings of one-night stands, the occasional orgy and even a fair few friends with benefits along the way. He didn’t believe in fate or true love, not anymore. The stories his friends would get together and share was always something that made him feel a little sick. It was all too sappy. All too corny. When the his soulmate mark had appeared on his skin he felt empty...he barely even noticed it.

 

“My friend are you seriously still babbling on about that woman?” He scoffed, knocking back another shot of sambuca and hissing with a shudder as it went down. Ragnor, his dear friend was an old romantic who spoke what seemed like in poetry about his fiance. It was making his stomach turn a lot more than the copious amounts of alcohol being consumed by their party.

 

“You’re such a cynical old cretin Magnus” He shot back at him. “When you find the one who matches that mark of yours you’ll be just as smitten” He pointed at him, swaying a little, his words slurred.

Raphael snorted beside them as he sipped his wine, considerably more sober than the other two. 

“I doubt Magnus even HAS a soulmate…” He burst out laughing, Ragnor doing the same. For the first time in his life. Magnus felt a little...hurt? No..He grabbed the waiter by the belt loop and pulled him close, taking another couple of shots from the tray and slipping some dollar bills into his back pocket with a squeeze.

 

Standing up he held the glasses up in each hand. “To my miserable life” He knocked them both back one after the other, “To being the embarrassment in your friend’s perfect little lives” before laughing out loud, his friends seemed to stop and looked between each other a little worried if not concerned for their friend now.

\---

“Magnus I think that’s enough” Raphael leant on the bar beside Magnus as he took a swig of a new drink. He put his hand on the rim of the glass and set it down on the side. “Come on let’s get you home” He gave a sideways glance to Ragnor who was already gathering up the coats, swaying a little as he did.

 

“Don’t...tell me what to do” Magnus breathed out and leant on the man currently groping his thighs from behind. “I’m going when I want…” He slurred and knocked the glass over spilling it all over the bar and grunting. “Which is now...Joseph…” he leant back to the man, giving his neck a slobbering kiss and groaning. “Take me home…”

 

“It’s Daniel” The man laughed before stiffening at the glare from Raphael, slowly peeling Magnus from him. “I...I think you better go home with your friends…” He slid away quickly before Raphael took Magnus’ arm dragging him towards the exit. 

 

“Get OFF me” Magnus ripped his arm away, causing his sleeve to tear slightly under his friends hold, his body swayed back before he fell onto a nearby table and onto the floor,

 

“Fucksake Magnus” Raphael muttered under his breath, kneeling down and yanking him back up, security coming over to help, not out of concern but more out of needing to remove someone so intoxicated from the premises as soon as possible.

 

This is how Magnus ended up lurched over the gutter, spewing the contents of his stomach into the drain being held up by Ragnor.

“You’re better than this my friend…” He had seemed to sober up after the outbursts in the club. Magnus wretched and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

“If you’re ashamed of me then fuck off” He snarled out. Ragnor sighed and looked round where Raphael was already on the phone and done with the company. 

“We’re not ashamed… Catarina is coming to pick us up”

“Fuck Catarina”

“Magnus Bane!” Ragnor scolded.

“No fuck Catarina...fuck you as well...fuck everyone and their” a wretch. “Their soulmates…” He gripped his side and pulled up his shirt showing the damaged mark on his side. He hiccupped. “I’m sick of you rubbing it in my face” He sniffed and slumped being caught and dragged back to lean on the wall.

 

“Magnus my friend I’m so sorry…” He swallowed, he took another look at the mark, the damage indicated the death of the soulmate. “When did this…”

Magnus groaned and wretched again, head slumping to Ragnor’s shoulder. “5 years ago…” He mumbled. 

“Come on..” He moved him carefully to where his fiance’s car parked up.

\---

The next weeks passed in a blur of alcohol and parties. This time he’d ended up going home with a raven haired beauty who kept him up most of the night. When he woke the next day he barely took one step out the bright pink bed covers before he felt an arm slide around his waist.

“You promised me another round” She giggled, now Magnus wasn’t one to deny a beautiful face, turning and without delay began the promised round six..or was it seven they were on?

 

“Izzy have you seen my-” Magnus’ had his face deep in the woman’s bosom while she rocked against him. He could’ve sworn he felt a jab at his side as the door was promptly slammed shut.

“Shit” The woman  _ Ahh Izzy…so that was her name _ jumped off him and grabbed her underwear and dressing gown. “Alec!” She grabbed the handle running out the bedroom door. Magnus left stunned and looking round grabbing for his phone.

 

“Raphael you need to come and get me…” He whispered to his friend who only began to laugh. “This woman is insane...I don’t think I’ll survive this one” He gripped his side as he felt a pain shoot down it, looking to the mark as it bled a little. “Shit I have to go” He took a deep breath and got to the en-suite.

Magnus found himself back where he began those 5 years ago when he first felt the mark bleed. Looking at himself in a foreign bathroom mirror before crying into the tiles on the floor, gripping at his sides. He had never even met his soulmate but the pain knowing they were gone had been slowly eating him alive. He convinced himself he didn’t care, that he would keep jumping from one bed to the next. It would work for a time, until he found himself choking almost in despair on a stranger’s floor. Much like he was doing now.

 

But this time was different...

 

Pulling himself up he began to drag his hands through the cabinet, checking pill bottles, cursing as he dropped them and scattered them all over, panting and choking he scrambled on the floor gathering them all up and pushing them into his mouth, as many as he could get his hands on. This was it, no one would miss him. His friends had found their life partners and all he was doing was stopped others from meeting theirs with his sordid affairs.

 

As his vision blacked out he felt a warm hands, two beautiful hazel eyes and soft lips on his own. Through death he found his soulmate at last. If this was all he needed to do then he’d have done it all those years ago.

\---

“Oh what have you done…” Magnus heard a muffled voice as he opened his eyes slowly. 

“Ragnor…” He took a deep breath, his stomach ached as he tried to sit up.

“Stay still my friend..” He felt a hand in his own. “You fool Magnus…” He sighed shaking his head. “How could we be so blind to how you were feeling?” Magnus looked to see his tired distraught eyes. They weren’t just pity.

“How did I get here?” He blinked himself awake as much as he could. He didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would. How was he even still here? He began shaking as sobs came through his body, he had been so close. So close to being happy with his love. “I...let me be with him” He choked up again and clutched Ragnor’s hand. “Please” He tried to pull at the tubes around him and had his hands pulled back, a nurse quick to his side, his body too weak to put up a fight.

 

“Magnus...listen to me…” He barely heard his friend’s voice before he heard one he didn’t recognise, opening his eyes as they glazed from the tears he saw those eyes again. Those hazel eyes. His hands stopped resisting as he reached up to touch the face of the man.

“You…” He breathed out. Feeling the man press his face into his palm.

“I’ve been trying to find you…” He heard him breath out as if a weight was lifting from his very being. “I looked everywhere” Magnus closed his eyes slowly as sleep overcame him.

\---

“I thought his soulmate was dead?” Raphael asked observing the man currently talking with Magnus by his bedside.

“He was…” Ragnor shook his head. “He pretty much drowned 5 years ago...but he was resuscitated…” He took a deep breath. “He’s spent those years searching for Magnus. Knowing his mark had been damaged…”

“So...” Raphael was clearly more distressed in the whole situation than his calm and cool demeanor suggested.

“This man is the brother of the woman he spent the night with...he found him in the bathroom and took care of him as much as he could while they called an ambulance…”

“And Magnus didn’t believe in fate? This was his first attempt? And this man just happened to be there?” He scoffed shaking his head. “So what now?” Ragnor rubbed his temples with his forefingers.

“Now? Our dear friend has a lot of healing to do...I just hope this man...Alec will be with him every step of the way…I worry that it’ll be a long time before he’s truly happy…”

“If he spent his years finding him...He’d be a fool to leave him now...how can we trust him?”

The two men looked on as the smallest of smiles crept its way onto Magnus’ face.

“We can’t...but in ten minutes he’s brought out a more genuine smile from him than we have in years…”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I'm not great at One-Shots so this was my try


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